Songbird and Crow
by kalachcha
Summary: As a general rule, witches are something to be avoided. They're dangerous and unpredictable and most of all, rude. Unfortunately for the company of Thorin Oakenshield, their group now hosts their very own witch whether any of them want her or not. Bofur/OC
1. Prologue

It was a warm spring day when Gandalf the Gray came to the small farm just outside of Bree. It wasn't unusual to see him in those parts. He was constantly traveling back and forth along the main road from one side of the world to the other, doing what ever it was that wizards did when they weren't sticking their noses where they did not belong. Sometimes he would stay a few nights and spread the tales that he had gathered in his journey and some times he would simply rest and then move on. It was rare that he came to the town with a purpose, as he had that particular day.

The wind stirred the apple trees that grew along the thin winding path that led from the town through the fields and orchards that supported it. There were many families that worked the land surrounding Bree and the territory was a patchwork of crops. On the way he had greeted the farmers laboring in their fields and was pleased that they had enough sense to at least wave back at the strange old man.

The wizard had left his cart back in town and elected to walk the short distance. Unfortunately he seemed to have underestimated just how long of a walk it would be and found himself winded by the time the small one room home came into view, leaning on his staff for support. There was nothing glamorous about the building with its thatched roof and walls that looked to be old enough to belong in the second age. Smoke poured from the small chimney in the corner of the home, signaling that someone was at least around.

He was not above peering in windows and so thats what he did, waiting until he saw a hint of movement in the dimly lit kitchen area before knocking solidly on the wooden front door.

The woman that opened it could be described in one word: tired. Wrinkles were beginning to set in around her eyes and mouth and silver hairs could be seen peeking through the hand kerchief she had used to pull it away from her narrow and pinched face. She had a look of grim distrust as she took in the man standing on her front step.

"What do you want?"

He raised an eyebrow at the woman's bluntness. Apparently there was no time for manners. "Yes, well. Good afternoon. My name is Gandalf. Now this may seem a bit strange to you I'm sure but I've come to ask you about a rather troubling tale I had heard in town. I am sure that it was nothing, but you can not blame an old man for his curiosity, can you?"

Her face instantly changed to one of annoyance. "You've come to ask about the girl haven't you." It wasn't a question and it was clear that there had been many people by lately to ask about the girl. "Look, we don't know anything. Whatever rumors you've heard are probably true. Now if that's all you came to bother me about I have stew on the stove and my husband will be back for his meal any minute now."

The door came swinging back towards him and he stopped it from closing with his staff. "I don't suppose you would be willing to explain exactly what you mean."

The woman glared at him for a moment before she understood that the strange man probably wasn't going to leave until he got the answers he was looking for. After a long minute of silence she jerked her head to motion him inside and slammed the door shut behind him.

It was incredibly dark with the only light coming in from a few small windows and the low fire in the hearth. Inside it was even smaller than it had looked from the outside. Most of the room was used as a kitchen and only the small table in the corner and the double bed shoved against the wall gave any clue that this was the whole house.

Gandalf clasped his hands in front of him and waited patiently as the farmer's wife busied around the room grabbing ingredients and throwing them in the cauldron sitting on the flames. After a few moments it became clear that she was avoiding the topic so he started it.

"When exactly did she come to you and how?"

Her head jerked at the sound and he wondered if she had forgotten that she had invited him in all together. "Found her about two months ago I suppose. She just stumbled on down the path like you. We thought she had been attacked at first, you never know what kind of folk are coming through that town, but then we figured she must just be mad."

"And why do you say that?"

She finally stopped what she was doing completely and looked him in the eyes. "You would have known if you saw her. All dressed in clothing like she had no shame at all and hardly able to say a word. Speaking in some foul language like none I've heard before. It's a miracle that she made her way here and not wandered farther into the wild. Who knows what would have happened to her." There was a drop of compassion in her voice for the first time, but it soon disappeared. "We took her in and fed her, clothed her. Could have sent her on her way but we gave her work instead."

"You sent her to work for you?"

"Well of course! Not that she has the brains to appreciate all that we've done for her. Acting like she's never seen a day of work in her life. Didn't know how to work the fields or to feed the animals. Honestly it's no small miracle that she's survived this long."

"So she is still here." He said.

"Out in the barn right now if you want to see for yourself. Honestly we should have started charging coin when the rumors started. We could be living the high life by now."

He was quiet for a moment as he studied the woman and for some reason she felt as if he could see much more than most. It made her skin crawl in a way that it never had before.

"Yes, I think I will go to see her. If you would point the way?"

She blinked a few times. The feeling had left her as quickly as it had come on and she began to think that she had imagined the whole thing. "Out the door and to the left. You can't miss it."

He was nearly out the door when she said, "I will warn you, she's strange. And not just with her speech or her manner. There's something off about her and I don't like it one bit. If I had it my way she would have been turned out the second we could. Watch yourself around her."

With her warning taken care of she spun back to her work and the wizard was out the door.

Now that he was outside again it was clear which building was the barn, although it was nothing to be proud of. The paint that had once been a bright shade of red had been bleached by the sun until it was not much more than a pale sickly pink and most of it was chipping off. The roof was more holes than roof and it was a wonder that the whole thing hadn't collapsed yet.

The double door, one half hanging off its hinges, was propped open by a small pail and creaked as he pulled it open all the way. The musty smell of animals hit his nose and he frowned. The only light was the natural sunlight and he was glad for the holes in the roof at that moment. Pens lined most of the building, some clearly having been empty for some time, with a large area at the end of the hall where he could see bales of hay piled high to the ceiling. It was there that he saw the woman.

Her back was turned to him and he could only see so well, but she was clearly quite small for a human. She was no more than five feet at most, putting her at his shoulder if not lower. Her hair was an inky black and completely straight and tied back with a scrap of cloth much like the farmer's wife had worn hers. The clothing she wore could hardly be called rags and hung from her small frame pathetically. He was sure that they had been stitched back together more than once. Her cheeks were streaked with enough dirt that the bruise on her left side was barely visible.

"Good afternoon." He called.

The girl startled and spun around quickly, clearly not used to being interrupted in her work. He took that brief moment to look her over.

She was young, not quite out of her teens yet and her features showed it. A small mouth and pointed nose gave her a youthful air to her. Her eyes were a dark black and her skin had a warm tanned shade that wasn't seen often in those parts of middle earth.

He clearly was not what she was expecting to walk through the barn doors because the look on her face bordered on terror. The rake that she had been using seconds before was grasped in her hand so tight he was afraid that she would snap it in half.

The moment crawled by as she stared.

"Who are you?" The woman asked. It was obvious by the way that her tongue tripped over her words that common was not her native language. As he had expected, it was all starting to become clear that there was something larger going on than a simple woman wandering lost down a road.

"My name is Gandalf. I'm a traveler passing by and I heard rumors about this farm. I suppose you are the source?"

She didn't say anything and simply studied him with her dark eyes.

"Do you know where you are?" He asked her.

Finally, she shook her head no. The panic was gone and there was a guarded drop of hope in her eyes. Maybe she could sense something about the old man or maybe it had just been too long since anyone had bothered to ask her about anything.

"The farm. But not where?"

"You are in a place called middle earth. Have you heard that term before?"

She shook her head more confused than ever.

"You have been working here for some time now. Do you want to stay?"

The fear was back in her eyes and she took a few steps backward, clearly startled by his words. Eyes darted around the barn as if some one was about to appear and catch her doing something she shouldn't be.

"They feed me. They let me sleep here. I have to stay to pay them."

His frown deepened as he thought about what the girl had said. "And if I were to pay them for you? Do you want to stay on this farm and work for the rest of your life? Or would you want to go somewhere far away from here?"

"Why?" She blurted out before she took a moment and thought about her words "Why would you help me?"

"Because I am a wizard. And that is what we do."

She only hesitated for a moment before she nodded her head firmly. He smiled and motioned for her to come with him.

* * *

The wagon ambled slowly down the dirt road, but neither of the passengers minded their slow pace. The girl was sitting next to him, her small pack of belongings tucked securely in her arms. She was afraid that it would be stolen from her if she let it go. He suspected that the farmers had tried to take it before which was why it had been hidden under a layer of straw in one of the empty stalls of the barn.

Their departure from the farm had been eventful to say the least. The farmer and his wife were obviously not happy to be losing their free labor and had raised the price of her 'freedom' more than once. It was only when he had threatened to spirit her away without any compensation that they had finally agreed on a price. He had expected this of course, but what he hadn't anticipated was the sight of the girl spiting at the couple's feet when they tried to remind her of all that they had done for her. Their departure had been quick after that.

Her eyes were wide as she took in the sights around them. She seemed enamored by the fields they passed through but she lit up when she saw that they were traveling towards the thick forest in the distance. In the beginning of their journey she had asked many questions about their surroundings, but she soon became frustrated with her lack of language and had been quiet for the past hour. She still had not asked where they were going.

He broke the silence, "We will be traveling north towards a small village near the Chetwood. There we will have time to think about just what we are going to do with you."

"You know why I am here?" She asked.

"I have some idea. And if it is what I think then you have a very important role to play in events that will shape this world. Although I can not tell you when or where." He said after a long moment, "But I can not be sure. Not now. And I think it might be best if you stay somewhere safe until I do."

That clearly wasn't the answer she was looking for and she began to pout. He chucked quietly at the sight. Whatever trials she had gone through since coming to this land had not done anything to break her spirit. "Do not fret. I am sure that there will be something we can find to keep you occupied until then."

It didn't seem to have much of an effect on her but she did not argue.

They settled back into the comfortable silence for a long moment.

"Ah!" He said suddenly causing her to jerk out of her thoughts and flinch. "I don't believe I ever got your name."

She didn't understand what he was asking for a moment, but when she did a small smile came to her lips. "Joanna Nguyen."

Gandalf hummed and looked back to the road. He was telling the truth when he said that he did not know exactly what her coming to Middle Earth meant, but he did have an inkling and it told him that great things were on the horizon. And that she would play a part in whatever it was that came their way.

 **Author's note: lmao hey. First thanks for reading blows you a kiss. Second this fic is going to be pretty long? I have 40k written already banked and they're just leaving rivendell so. Third this is kind of au in places and I take some liberties when it comes to magic in middle earth and dwarven culture. Nothing too bad but just please keep that in mind when I start making things up. Thank you!**


	2. Chapter One

The company had only left the shire a few days before and they already had no idea just where they were going. At first it had seemed as though they were going to travel by the great east road until they passed through the mountains, but that morning their wizard had directed them off of the main road and along a small winding path that led to the north.

They had asked why, but the only thing they could get out of him was that there was another that he wished to consult before starting earnestly with their quest. The dwarves had grumbled about the detour and the time that they were wasting on it, but it came down to either going with him or continuing on without his help at all. It was a clear choice.

"Never heard of anyone living in these parts." Gloin muttered mostly to himself but loud enough that the others could hear his complaining. At the front of the train of ponies their wizard rolled his eyes.

Dwalin snorted. "Because no one lives here. Only foresters and farmers."

The hobbit who was currently half asleep in his saddle, jerked to attention at the dwarf's words. Sleeping out in the open and on the hard ground had done a number on him and he was finding it hard to keep himself awake. "Why would Gandalf take us out here if there's nothing? I don't understand."

The warrior dwarf ignored him and simply dug his heels into his horse to move up the line. Nearly half the dwarves were still steadfast in their opinion that Bilbo had no business coming with him and many comments were made every time he 'slowed them down.' He had expected it. Dwarves weren't known for their friendly nature, he knew that. Still, it was starting to get ridiculous being able to only have a conversation with a handful of them without the dwarf walking away from him before he even finished his sentence.

"Ah, don't worry about any of that, master burglar." A cheery voice came from his side and Bilbo found that Bofur had started riding next to him. "I'm sure the wizard knows what he's doing. He might seem a bit on the batty side, but you've seen what he can do. Maybe this person we're going to visit is some great dragon killer."

"Living out in the middle of the wood?" one of the princes scoffed. Bilbo had trouble telling the two of them apart. "More like we're wasting time that we could be using actually getting on the road."

The company went back to their uneasy silence then. Bilbo sunk down further into his saddle and let himself drift off yet again. It did not escape his notice that the trees began to become denser and that the amount of sunlight that filtered through the canopy was shrinking with every step his pony took.

Nearly an hour later Gandalf called for the company to halt and gathered the dwarves and the hobbit together. The tone of his voice was oddly serious and they obeyed him with out question.

"We are nearly to their home. It is of the up most importance that you listen to my instruction." He shot a meaningful look at the youngest Durins and continued, "They are not known for their hospitality and I doubt they have had this many people to visit in many years."

"Are we to ask help from some old hermit?" Dwalin asked.

The wizard ignored him. "They are one of the few in this world who has true skill in the art of magic and it would be wise not to insult them. I think that they will be willing to help us…as long as you do not insult them. In fact it may be for the best if some of you stay with the ponies and only a few will come to meet them."

There was a loud uproar of dwarves insisting that they had never insulted anyone in their lives and he would be a fool to leave them behind since they would be the most polite they had ever been. Gandalf smiled as the dwarves straightened their clothing and made themselves the picture of dwarven manners for their mysterious host.

Now that that was settled they continued along the winding path through the ever darkening forest. Birds could be heard above them but none could be seen and every once in a while something would shake the foliage , giving them a fright every single time.

"This is not natural." Balin said to Bilbo, "I have been in these parts many years ago with a caravan and it was nothing like this. I do not understand what could have happened in such a short amount of time."

"Some kind of magic you mean?" he asked as he looked around at what little he could make out in the darkness. Trees twisted upwards so high that he could not see their tops and thorny bushes laden with bright red berries lined much of their path. Their only solace was the fact that Gandalf had no trouble at all forging ahead and he seemed to know exactly where they were going.

"Not much farther now!" he called over his shoulder to the train of dwarves. Some of them sighed with relief. And true to his word, they came upon a clearing not even a few minutes later. They were quick to dismount and tie up the ponies and were soon ready to face their destination.

It was not what they were expecting at all and they were quick to voice that too.

"Looks like no one's lived here for years!" Bofur said as he peered at the small cottage wedged between two large trees. It was constructed of ancient dark wood and the walls leaned dangerously to the right so it looked like it was about to collapse any moment. The windows were coated with dust and they couldn't see a thing inside even when they rubbed at the glass. A chimney stuck out from the far corner but no smoke came out of it and the birds nest that had been built over the top gave the appearance that no fire had been lit under it for quite some time.

The wizard walked up the stone steps at the door and knocked firmly twice with his staff. There was no sign of movement from inside.

Gandalf furrowed his brow at the sight. He was sure that they would still be there and if they weren't at home he had no idea where they would have gone to. Not wanting to face the dwarves empty handed, he quickly thought of what he should do.

"I will go and look around the surrounding area they could not have gone far if they do indeed still live here. I suggest you get your rest now since I do not think we will be stopping for some time after this." He had disappeared into the surrounding trees before any of the dwarves could stop him.

For a long moment there was no sound except for the chirp of crickets in the underbrush and the calls of birds overhead.

"Now what?" Ori asked.

* * *

They did not know exactly how long it would take to search a forest for one mysterious person, but it was clearly taking far too long. Most of the dwarves had given up on waiting and had gathered on the rickety porch and sat on the steps lighting their pipes. The others, Thorin and Dwalin for sure, were alert and on guard at the edge of the little clearing, looking for any trouble that may stumble across them.

Bofur had sat himself on the top step, his legs finally able to stretch and rest for the first time all day, and had been the first to produce and pipe and some tobacco. Being far from home was no reason to deprive yourself from some of the comforts, he thought and felt a bit sorry for their burgler who had left all of his behind.

"How long are we supposed to wait? It'll be dark soon and I don't reckon I'd like to spend the night in these parts." He said and took a long drag.

Thorin was the one to speak up and the way he barked made it clear that he was not happy about the situation, "We will wait for the wizard for another hour and then we will leave with him or without him."

Bofur grimaced at his kings sharp tone and leaned back against the step to avoid the fiery look coming from their leader. He was quiet for a moment but the tension within the group had escalated even more. He hadn't thought that would be possible. With nothing else he could think of, he pushed himself to his feet and walked up the steps to the door. The dwarves he had been sitting with, Nori and Bombur looked up quizzically and wondered just where he was going. "Well, no need to sit around doing nothing."

He didn't really expect the door to be unlocked. He thought that he would be able to try the knob, find that it was locked and then make a joke about it and dispel some of the awful tension from the air. Unfortunately for him, the door was not locked and easily swung open when he pushed with a long and shrill creak.

"Ah." There was really nothing more that he could think to say.

With one last glance over his shoulder to see that the rest of the company was scrambling to their feet, he took one step and then another inside the small cottage. It was incredibly dark and he stumbled over a chest as he moved farther into the room. Large bundles of some sort hung down from the ceiling and as he got closer to one, he realized they were dried herbs. A large table dominated the small room and he could see that the entire surface was covered in small jars and paper envelopes that had been filled to the brim with powders and leaves. Sitting on one corner was what looked like a human skull, but he did not linger long enough on the object to see if it was real.

Running his hand over the table's surface, he quickly realized something.

"No dust. Someone's been here recently, that's for sure." He called to the dwarves outside, but there was no answer, which was quite odd for such a loud group. He turned back to the door and stuck his head out. "Didn't you hear me?"

None of them spared him a glance. Their attention was fixed on the new comer to the small clearing.

"Where are you lot from where it is customary to break into people's homes while they are away? I've certainly never heard of such a place."

It was a woman's voice and there was indeed a woman standing there between the trees. Dressed in all black, from her blouse to the tips of her shoes that peeked out from under her skirt, she was an imposing sight to be sure. Her hair was cut shorter than any of the dwarves, just down so that it brushed her shoulders, and it was so dark it looked as though it had been dipped in ink. Even from as far away as he was Bofur could see that her eyes were just as pitch black.

Her stride was one of confidence and she held her head high as she walked through the crowd towards the house that was apparently hers. He gulped and a shiver ran down his spine as he met her gaze and saw her narrow her eyes. He made to leave the house and get out of her way, but the woman simply slipped past him through the doorway, her skirt brushing at his legs as she did.

"Well, since you're already here you all might as well come in. I don't think I have enough chairs for all of you, but I'm sure you wont mind standing for a bit."

They hesitated until their leader Thorin himself nodded and walked through the doorway. It was only then that the rest of the company piled through into the small living space of the strange woman.

Bofur watched in fascination as she flitted around the room, grabbing candles and lighting them with a flick of her wrist. The warm light illuminated the room warmly and made it seem a little less like a den of evil.

When they were all inside the woman spun around to face them and hopped up on the only bare spot on the table, placing her at least a head and a half above even the tallest of them. "Now then, what can I do for you all?"

Before they could answer she was prattling on as if they weren't even in the room, "Let's see I have some freshly picked basil so a wealth charm could be on discount. I've never had dealings with a dwarf before, but if what I have heard is true you seem to value your gold quite a bit. Should I put you down for one each then?"

Gloin in particular had perked up when he heard that and was nodding vigorously.

"Well, I'm guessing at least one of you is married so how about a nice love charm? Never too late to show her you care. Lavender is just starting to come in and I think it works best with some quartz and maybe a sprig of bluebell for luck? I can tie that up for you in no time flat."

She paused for a moment, "Well, come on now I can't be doing all of the work. What do you need? I can do most anything. No killing or maiming though, far too dark for me." The irony coming from the woman dressed in black, with red stained lips living in a dark shack in the middle of a dark woods seemed to be missed by most everyone. Except for Bofur of course who covered his laugh with a subtle cough.

Balin was the brave soul to shuffle forward through the crowd. He bowed slightly to the woman which caused her to raise an eyebrow at the old dwarf and he said, "I think we may have some, what you may call a error of communication. We are simple dwarves from the Blue Mountains traveling through this area when one of our companions told us that he knew of someone who may be able to aid us in our journey. We came for him. Not…what ever it is that you do."

"And just who would it be that pushed you so far off the road that you ended up in my home?"

"That would be the wizard Gandalf the gray." Balin said.

She was silent for a moment and her eyes darted between all the dwarves, truly taking them in for the first time. She ghosted over the weapons that hung by their sides and their thick traveling clothing and armor.

"That bastard."

Dori immediately clamped his hands down around his youngest brother's ears at her foul language.

She continued her rant, "That old coot leaves me be for four years and now he comes back here with an army of dwarves and I'll bet you all the money in the world that he thinks we're all just going to skip out of here together like I haven't just begun to really make this work. Does he know just how many times I've had to fend off a mob from my front porch because someone's prized vegetables wilted the week after I looked at them?"

She became more animated as she spoke, swinging her legs under the table and waving her hands with each word. There was a flash of red stockings from under the black skirt as she did a particularly high kick.

"You know I just wanted to live here with my garden and my books but could I do that? Oh, no. Of course not. You tell one girl to brush her teeth and then the whole village knows you're a witch. Lining up at my door for curses at all times of the night as if the spells won't work as well if you come at a rational time of day."

"We do not have time for this. I will not sit here and listen to a mad woman's rambling when we need to be on the road!" Thorin bellowed, his thresh hold of patience having been reached.

"Oh am I boring you?" the woman snarled at the king, "I'm sorry did I break into your home? Did I intrude on your privacy on the whim of some half wit old man?"

The dwarves watched with wide eyes as the woman held her ground against their leader, sure that he was a few seconds from attacking the woman. Dwalin had also started towards the woman, his hand reaching down to the weapon that hung at his side.

"Ah. There you are." A voice came from the doorway. They spun around in almost complete synchrony, except for the woman who leapt down from her perch on the table and was pushing her way through the crowd of dwarves in seconds.

"Don't you dare pull that innocent act with me you old bat." She waved her finger in his face, which would have been much more threatening if she wasn't at least a foot shorter than him. "I know what you're trying to do and it won't work."

Gandalf had the decency to look confused and a bit ashamed, "I did not come here just to intrude upon you, Joanna. We have come to ask for your help."

"Yes I know. Why do you think I'm angry with you?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "Oh, Jo it's too dangerous for you to travel with me all the time why don't you settle down in that miserable little shack you like so much? You can stay there for years at a time while I'm off doing who knows what. And maybe someday I'll come back when you're actually needed." The voice she used was remarkably like Gandalf's and Bofur made a mental note to ask just how she had done it.

"Well it wasn't exactly like that." The wizard supplied weakly.

The woman they now knew was named Joanne bared her teeth, "Then how was it? Please enlighten me what the grand plan was. And if I was wrong how is it that you ended up on my front step with some ragtag group of adventurers who I'm sure have some half cocked plan for a quest that will bring them all glory and endless wealth."

A few of the dwarves coughed nervously and a few steadfastly studied to ceiling to avoid looking at the strange woman.

"We are in desperate need of someone with your skills. I would not come here if we were not."

She was silent for a moment as she looked up at the old man, practically quivering from emotions. The anger seemed to die down from her a bit and Gandalf knew then that she would not go on a rampage for a while yet. Joanna burned much like one of his fireworks: quick and violent.

"…Come in and sit down before you fall asleep on the porch, old man. Don't you dare track in mud though. I just swept this morning."

* * *

The dwarves found themselves even more crowded than before with the addition of the wizard and with Joanna standing in front of the table instead of sitting on it. The map had been wrestled from their king's grasp and unfurled on the table. Joanna had been studying it with complete concentration as they explained their past and the story of how their city Erebor had been lost and of how they planned to take it back. Her brows furrowed when they reached the end.

"So…you all walked across the continent to find somewhere else to live and now you want to walk all the way back across to get your old house back?"

Balin hesitated for a moment before he said, "Well, I wouldn't put it exactly like that, but yes that's the idea of it."

She hummed and tilted her head, her bangs falling away from her forehead like a curtain. "And you're doing this despite the fact that there's a giant fire breathing lizard waiting for you at the end? A lizard that you could not defeat with an entire army?"

"Don't forget it can fly."

She paused for a moment and locked eyes with the dwarf that had piped up and her mouth twisted a fraction into the smallest smile possible. Bofur winked in response.

"Right, so you're going after the giant fire breathing flying lizard that could be immortal for all you know, with a group of thirteen dwarves, what ever the hell a hobbit is and an old man?"

"That sounds correct to me." Balin said.

"Mmh." She nodded, "Right. I think I'll have to pass on that one. All the luck in the world to you complete bunch of _idiots_."

The dwarves shared a look of confusion at the sound of the foreign word. It was pretty clear that it wasn't a compliment whatever it meant.

"Will you not think about it? Is your life here worth so much that you would miss this chance?" Gandalf asked. He was clearly tired of her stubborn attitude and eager to get them back on the road before the king under the mountain had a heart attack from the stress. Every second they spent in the small cottage raised the odds of that happening tenfold.

Joanna sighed and leaned back against the table. She was quiet as she looked up at the man who had saved her years ago and studied his face. "You're not joking are you? You think this is it? The actual reason?"

"Even if it is not, do you have that much to lose?"

She was quiet for a long moment. Her eyes drifted shut and she sighed. "How much treasure are we talking about here? And what should I pack?"

 **Author's Note: she's the worst. Also thank you everyone who read and reviewed bless your hearts! ALSO there should be updates about once a week from now. ALSO please let me know if you notice any glaring errors.**


	3. Chapter Two

Joanna was absolutely miserable. Her back was sore from sitting upright on her pony, her feet were crammed into stiff leather boots and had blistered awfully within a day and her thighs ached in muscles that she didn't know she even had. The sun was beginning to set and a cool chill was setting in which did nothing to improve her mood as she bundled her thin cloak closer to her.

She had naturally drifted to the back of their train of ponies and was ambling along at a slow pace next to the dwarf with the strange star shaped hair. They had all introduced themselves, but after the first three she couldn't remember their names if her life depended on it.

"Are we close to this mountain of yours?" She called up the line.

They seemed to find her question funny and laughed heartily.

"That would be a no." The star headed dwarf chuckled. She sent a nasty look at him, but either he didn't notice or he didn't care. Before she could, she noticed that those in the front of the group had stopped and were hopping down from their mounts. By the time she caught up to them, they had already begun pulling down their packs from the backs of their ponies and setting up what was to be their camp site for the night.

She struggled for a moment with lifting herself out of the saddle with her legs hurting the way they did and ended up practically tumbling to the ground. A few chuckles could be heard around her and she could feel her cheeks burn, so she set her head high and narrowed her eyes into her most impressive glare.

"Are we not going to find some sort of shelter? Wont it be cold out in the open?"

To her surprise she heard a voice that was not her own questioning the dwarves. Joanna found herself studying the small man who seemed just as lost within the group as she felt. He was much shorter than her which was saying something. His clothing was foreign to her, looking more like something a wealthy farmer might wear opposed to the almost medieval aesthetic that the rest of the world held. It was quite odd, but she was not one to judge.

"Afraid of getting the sniffles, master burgler?" the dwarf with the gray hair and the hearing loss asked.

"Maybe dwarves are used to sleeping in your damp caves, but I think the other races in our little group might not fare too well out here." Joanna spat.

The hobbit started at the sound of her voice and gave her an almost frightened look which she met with a blank stare and a raised eyebrow. He averted his eyes quickly.

"That would be because you are soft." The dark haired leader who she had almost decked back in her cottage said, "It will do you good to be cold for a few nights. Maybe you will see that this is not some joke that you can join on a whim."

She rolled her eyes. _I'm sure that's easy for you to say_ She thought as she tugged down her pack from the back of her pony. The animal whinnied happily at the lightening of her load and Joanna gave her a small pat.

The company had positioned themselves in a tight circle around the pit that they were digging for their campfire. Already they had separated themselves in what Joanna realized must have been the different families. She watched as the starfish haired dwarf from earlier grouped together with the older dwarf with the intricately braided beard and one of the youngest who looked no older than her.

Feeling a bit awkward, she found a spot outside the circle and dropped her bag on the first spot of ground she saw that wasn't littered with rocks and sticks. They had moved off the road and the thick trees would be able to hide them from anyone traveling by well enough to at least give them a chance to prepare if they were under attack. Being used to the forests of this area the thick pine trees and the damp smell of the foliage set her at ease. It was clear that some of the others were not comforted by their location as she was.

The hobbit in particular was hovering around like he didn't know what to do. From the comments that the dwarves made about the man every once in a while Bilbo had lived in relative comfort until they had dragged him on this journey of theirs.

The idea to take pity on his crossed her mind, but she did nothing. One of the dwarves called over, "Here, come set your things down over here. Bombur snores like a saw, but so do half the others."

Her eyes jumped to the dwarf that had spoken and found that it was the one with the strange hair and the god awful looking hat. She wondered for a moment just how different dwarvish fashion was than human if a warrior could walk around with pigtails and no one would look twice. Or maybe that one was just stranger than most. He met her gaze and the grin on his face grew even more.

"You're welcome to join us if you wish. You wont feel much of the fire from all the way out there."

Panic set in for a quick second as she felt the eyes of the company upon her once again.

Joanna cleared her throat once and then again before saying, "I think I will be fine here."

The strange dwarf seemed not to care about the strange stares he had earned because he just shrugged, "If you're sure. Offer still stands of you change your mind."

"Right." She muttered to herself as she spread out her thin bedding and began to dig through her pack for some extra clothing and her small bar of soap. She had made it before the winter in a large batch and the small fist sized lump was all that was left of it. When she had found what she was looking for she took a deep breath and walked over the the small group that included the hobbit and the hatted one. She was only distracted for a moment by the sight of the dwarf with the ax buried in his skull and pushed on.

"Does anyone know if there's a stream nearby?"

She had apparently startled them because they jumped horribly at the sound of her voice.

"Did you already finish all the water in your flask? You can have some of ours, but you should conserve a bit more than that lass."

Fighting the urge to roll her eyes she said, "No I have enough drinking water for at least tomorrow but I need somewhere to wash off. Weren't we going next to the river for a while? Is it too far to walk now?"

"Wash? We've only been traveling for a day now!"

"Yes? And I feel absolutely disgusting." She paused for a moment while she thought, "Are you saying that you all have been traveling this long and you haven't stopped to bathe once?"

The hobbit gave her a pleading look as if he had already tried to push that point and had failed miserably, but Joanna was not one to give up when her own senses were on the line. The confused expression on the dwarf's face was all she needed to know.

" _Jesus Christ it's like traveling with a pack of children._ " She mumbled to herself as she looked around the camp site.

Apparently, strange muttering in a foriegn language from the witch was more than enough to spook the group and they were instantly on edge and ready for something to happen.

"Does she mean to curse us?" The one with the intricate grey braids asked to those around him.

"Yes. I'll put a curse on you that says that you must wash at least once a day or you'll turn into a worm." Her voice was heavy with sarcasm, but it was lost on most of them.

"Who are you to threaten us?" Thorin growled at her.

Her eyes snapped to their leader and held her ground. "I signed that contract did I not? Am I not a member of this company?" She waited for a moment for an answer but none came. "I am here for my advice and my skills. And if I have to use them both to keep you lot from catching an illness from your own pig headedness and dying then I will."

One of the other elder dwarves stepped forward in an attempt to soothe the woman. She knew from earlier that he was one of the kinder of the group, although he seemed to be related in some way to the terrifying one with the tattoos and the axes the size of her torso.

"I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to wash up every now and again-"

"Every day."

"Well perhaps every day."

There was a chorus from the others in protest of giving in to her demands, but they were silenced by a glare from the elder dwarf. From the sidelines of the camp, their wizard smiled to himself at the sight.

Joanna narrowed her eyes at the dwarf, studying him and looking for any clue that he was mocking her in any way. When she found none, she nodded stiffly and said, "I'm sure you can thank me when you make it to your mountain without dropping dead from the sniffles."

"Will she be telling us how to dress ourselves or how to eat next?" The redhead muttered.

While Joanna would have liked nothing better than to rip into another argument, she managed to hold her tongue. Just barely. The thought of a cool stream and being free of the dirt and sweat that clung to her skin was too enticing.

"Now that that's settled, maybe one of you could actually point me in the direction of the river? I'm sweaty and gross and I know all of you are too."

It was only twenty minutes later when Joanna made her way back to camp, her hair dripping water onto her shoulders and soaking the clothing that she had changed into. She was banking on the fact that no one would attack them while they were sleeping in favor of being actually comfortable and had changed into a lighter shirt and shorts for the night. The soap had done its job and she finally felt clean and smelled lightly of lilacs and mint. She felt fresh for the first time all day.

"I guess the rest of you can go wash now that my delicate feminine sensibilities aren't in danger of being offended." She said as she dumped her dirty clothing on the ground. She wrinkled her nose as she realized she would have to wear the same clothing the next day and the next until she found the time to wash them and let them out to dry.

When none of them had a reply she glanced up in confusion. Every single pair of eyes were trained on her like a very startled hawk. Joanna sighed. "What is it now?"

The one with the hat cleared his throat a few times, feeling awkward about the whole thing and said, "Well, I suppose we were just wondering if you were going to put any clothing on."

Joanna glanced down at what she was wearing then back up at them. She didn't think it was too bad. Everything important was covered and you couldn't even see her knees. "Is there something wrong with this?"

"Er." He looked around to his fellow dwarves for some support and found that he was the only one willing to speak up to her, "Just the fact that you're walking around in your under things I suppose."

Now that she thought about it, all of the dwarves were covered pretty well even out of their armor. Most were wearing long sleeves and heavy coats and had not taken many of their layers off as they prepared for sleep. "But you can't even see anything? Are you saying that my ankles are going to be distracting you all night?" She cocked her brow as the dwarf fumbled for an answer and his cheeks began to darken. Some of the others were equally effected but it was harder to tell because of their beards. The only one who seemed to be immune to her teasing was their leader who had elected to just glower and stand there looking annoyed.

"I'm not sure how it is where you're from, but dwarves…keep some things private. Usually only family would see a young woman in such a state of dress." The older dwarf who reminded her of a kindly grandfather spoke up. "And since none of us are your family it is seen as…improper would be the best way to put it."

She snorted, "Alright then let's just settle on the fact that I'm not trying to seduce any of you and I promise I never will. Is that better?"

The old dwarf hesitated, clearly seeing that there was no way that he was going to win this argument and then sighed. "Yes, I suppose that will have to do."

"Good, because I am starving and sitting around arguing about seeing my legs is not getting me any closer to putting food in my stomach."

Without any further looks or words she walked over to the fire and plopped down as close as she could, shaking out her hair like a wet dog as she went.

It was only a few days later that Bofur found himself talking to the strange woman who had been forced into joining their company. Their days were long and hard and they covered a great deal of ground with each hour, which left little time to chat. The fact that the witch had taken to only speaking with a select few of their group, namely Gandalf and sometimes the hobbit, did nothing to help either.

She was strange and prickly and obviously didn't want to be there, but she was alone among a tightly knit group and he could understand how that felt like. So when the food was ready and it was time to dish it out, he didn't flinch when his brother told him to take the small wooden bowl to the strange human. He simply readied himself and strode over to the fire.

She was staring deep into the embers, oblivious to the world. Her dark eyes reflected the red flames and the light made them flicker brightly like embers. Whether he found her strange or terrifying it was not up for debate she was at least easy on the eyes.

"I have some food for you if you'll be wanting it."

He had startled her and she jumped at his words but she still didn't take her eyes off of the flames. "What is it?"

"Ah well, we have some lovely dried out toast here and a few carrots Bombur fished out of the stew for the rabbit in the group." She looked at him questioningly and he had to chuckle, "That would be you. I'm sure there will be plenty of vegetables left in the bowls tonight after every one has finished if you're still hungry."

Joanna nodded and took the bowl from him. She ate fast and he would be surprised if she had even tasted any of it. The two were silent for a long moment with her shoveling food in her mouth like there was no tomorrow and him watching with interest. She was halfway through her meal when she even noticed that he was still standing there. Even in the glow of the firelight he could see that he cheeks were red.

Wiping self consciously at her mouth she stiffly said, "I suppose my table manners are a little rusty."

He had to laugh at that. "Don't worry a bit about it. You haven't seen anything until you watch the lot of them have a feast. Food flying everywhere, drinks spilling on the carpet. It's a sight to behold."

Joanna was clearly trying to hide the smile that crept up on her, and her face twisted in the effort. "I'll be looking forward to it."

He decided that she didn't seem so scary at that moment, and just as he was about to ask her if she would mind it if he joined her, a voice called out from one of the other dwarves.

"By Mahal what was that!"

The entire camp was on the attack within seconds. Weapons had been drawn and dwarves were falling over themselves to reach the one who had screamed. They quickly crowded around Gloin ready to defend him to the death.

"What is it? Are we under attack?" the young prince Fili asked, only slightly able to hide his excitement.

"No! Something just jumped clear out of my bag. Nearly gave me a heart attack." Gloin said as he spun around searching for what it could have been. "It was as big as my fist I swear."

Bofur turned to look around on the ground for what ever it could have been, but stopped when he caught sight of the woman standing next to him. Her eyes were closed in a pained look of embarrassment. Before he could ask her what was wrong, she sighed and walked over to where the redhead was still jabbering about the creature that had attacked him.

"I touched it as I reached in and all I could feel was slime. Slipped right through my fingers."

"Come out here you big baby. I know you're here."

The entire company watched in confusion as their witch dropped to the ground and started patting around until there was a loud deep croak from a few feet away in some of the tall grass. Out popped a large round blob that crawled its way over to the woman and into her out stretched hands. When she stood up she cradled whatever it was close to her chest.

"What in all of Mahal's halls was that?" Fili asked, voicing what the rest of them were clearly thinking.

Joanna sighed once again. "For some reason I thought that I would be able to leave this lump at home without him sneaking off with us. Clearly I wasn't thinking."

"That's nice, but once again what is it?"

She pulled her hands from her chest and lay them flat so that everyone could get a good look at the creature cupped within. The fattest, largest toad any of them had ever seen sat staring right back. It was so large that it spilled from her hands on all sides.

"This is Toad, my familiar."

It was official: Bofur was going to die of laughter. It was apparently infectious because the princes were soon doubled over laughing merrily at the strangeness of the situation. Joanna shot the three of them a wary look before she continued. "Like I said I thought that he would be happy staying back at the cottage, but of course he would sneak into one of your bags when I wasn't looking." She hesitated a moment before she swallowed her pride, "I suppose I should apologize for startling you, Red."

He seemed more put out by the fact that he had been terrified by a tiny amphibian than her nickname and grunted to show that he accepted her apology.

"You are not bringing a frog on our journey this is exactly what I mean when I say that you do not take out quest seriously. Release the animal and get it over with." The king bristled. This was turning out to be a ridiculous night and he was eager for it to end.

"I am not letting him go out in the wild! He's a tamed toad; he wouldn't last a minute out there. Do you want him to be killed?" It was honestly the most emotion any of them had ever seen come from the woman and it was strange to say the least. "I need him. He can ride in my bag most of the time and you wont even know he's there."

The two of them stood there, him with his arms crossed over his chest and brows furrowed and her holding a large amphibian close to her face, for quite some time. Finally, the king simply huffed and turned away. It wasn't a victory per say, but she would take it. The rest of the company watched in fascination as the witch brought the toad up and gave it a light pat on its head. There wasn't much room for expression on it's small face, but it looked happy enough.

With the drama done for the moment, Joanna made her way back to her bed roll and slipped inside, laying Toad next to her pillow and turned away from the light of the fire. They had been right when they told her she wouldn't get much of the heat, so she pulled her legs up into a ball as she drifted off.

 **Author's note: she's hip she's cool she has no idea how to interact with other people. Honestly, the first draft of this was so bad this is cobbled together Frankenstein style so please tell me if it's incomprehensible. Thanks to everyone who read it!**


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